he shaved USA in his pubs
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is the high leading the old right now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
