i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
