Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Pants are for mortals
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
