I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
