I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
