he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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