Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
