i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
