Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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