Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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