why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
