When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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