your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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