i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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