paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
