I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
