Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize