she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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