do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
