my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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