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We named our party play list daddy issues
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
