Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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