I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
