Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
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