Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
