IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
