wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
