does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
