You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize