was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Randomize
