I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
