We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
