he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
