He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize