you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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