This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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