We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
