VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
