Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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