3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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