I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
