don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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