i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
that may or may not have been my penis.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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