I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
