420 ftw
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
