??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
