i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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