I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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