but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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