Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
