Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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