I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
not ubering you a puppy
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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