I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
