This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
