on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
