before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
