well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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