Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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