that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
