spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
