We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
