sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
