I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
